


91 days

by ajoomma



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F, Seulrene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 20:45:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18289913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajoomma/pseuds/ajoomma
Summary: Seulgi asked Irene out and Irene agreed to it.





	1. 01:

**Author's Note:**

> ❀ I'm just new to this and English is not my first language, go easy on me folks! Thank you, hope you'll enjoy the story~

Life is very short, amazingly short for everyone's case— rich or poor, beautiful or not, intelligent or an idiot. God gave us equal time to live on but sometimes it just happens that some people go earlier than others, having no choice but to abandon people who love them. They may be physically absent from this earth but they remain a star who will always guide their loved ones from above.

 

Seulgi gulped exactly three times before taking a deep breath as she continues to walk on where the love of her life is sitting in. She already took pills to calm her nerves beforehand, but her heart is still raging inside her ribcage, wanting to go out and stop her from what she's about to do **"** **uhhh** **... "** she softly said, getting the attention of the three girls, but her eyes were mainly focused on Irene who's already looking weirdly at her.

 

 **" yes? "** Joy frowned as she looks at Seulgi weirdly **" what can we help you? "** Yeri asked as well and the same as her friends, she looks weirdly at Seulgi who's having cold sweats as if she's about to confess about being a culprit for some unsolved murder case.

 

Seulgi sighed for the last time before making a brave face **" I want to tell Irene "** she paused for a second when she saw Irene's eyes glued on her. She always gets drawn into Irene's beauty that sometimes her words twist up and there were times where she would forget how to breathe, but today is not the right time to have her words twisted up **" Irene Bae! "** she shouted **" please go out with me! "**

 

The moment Seulgi shouted that the busy cafeteria fell into silence, the students that are eating almost spit out their foods, some who are carrying their tray almost tripped— everybody was awed by the courage that Kang Seulgi displayed, asking a Bae Irene to go out with her.

 

Basically, Bae Irene is someone who everyone wants to be with. The girl is the dream girl of the whole campus for her intelligence, ethereal beauty, well-mannered and adds up the fact that Irene came from a decent family— she was branded as the 'perfect girl'.

 

Irene placed down her spoon and rested her chin on her palm as she looked at the girl who promptly asked her to go out **" why should I go out with you? "** Irene calmly asked like she's interviewing an applicant for her new company.

 

Irene's eyes made Seulgi gulp. Everyone is intimidated by Irene, even her own teachers do! And so, she is expecting for Seulgi to just run away from her after that question she just dropped, but Seulgi isn't backing down.

 

 **" because I like you "** Seulgi curled her toes inside her shoes, she can't believe she's actually saying those things to Irene. She's nervous as hell that she felt like her heart would go out of her rib cage, but she remained composed— well as much as she can **" please go out with me! "** Seulgi repeated.

 

Irene's lips curved as her smile began to be visible **" I don't even know your name "** she bluntly said. Seulgi is a nobody, the people who know her around the university can be counted by fingers while Irene is statuesque that everyone knows.

 

Being asked by someone who suddenly popped in front of you might be weird as hell, but Seulgi is determined **" I'm Seulgi, Kang Seulgi! "** she bravely introduced herself.

 

Seulgi is well aware that their status is no way can be near to each other— if you will compare them by means of art, Irene would be that one billion worth artwork in bidding while Seulgi is that artwork of a grade three student that got a C-.

 

Irene stood up from her seat and so her two friends. Seulgi is clearly being rejected but she's not giving up just yet, not when she can still see Irene in front of her. Seulgi is determined to grab this opportunity because she knows she can't face Irene the next time she sees her or even the whole university after the public confession that she did.

 

 **" I'm not asking for you to go out with me for a very long time "** Seulgi gulped **" just for three months! "** she continued **" I'm not demanding any of your time. I just want to see you if you're free, I won't bother you, I won't be clingy. I just want to go on some dates with you, even just occasionally "** Seulgi said like she's having her wish before she dies.

 

Even how Seulgi desperately said those words Irene remained silent, picking up her bag and getting ready to walk away from her. Seulgi then accepted her fail attempt at asking Irene to go out with her, In defeat, Seulgi can't help but to look down— what should I do now? Should I change my name? Should I go and have plastic surgery that way, nobody will be able to recognize me?

 

Seulgi's thought was disrupted when Irene suddenly stopped by her side.

 

The fragrance of Irene lingers into Seulgi's nose— they are only 10 inches away from each other and that's enough for her to smell Irene's sweet scent **" sure, I will go out with you "** what Irene just said made Seulgi's jaw drop **" Kang Seulgi "** and a slight smile went off of Irene's lips before going on, walking away from her.

 

Seulgi is still frozen from where she is standing at— _she just said my name..._ Irene now knows her existence, Irene who is the love of her life since she was a freshman—  the most beautiful girl in the university now acknowledges her and on top of that **" she agreed to go out with me "** Seulgi murmurs to herself in a dreamy state.

 

 **" am I dreaming? "** she whispers **" hey, am I dreaming!? "** she randomly asked the girl who's eating near her. She hardly pinched herself and when she felt the sting from what she did **" I'm not dreaming! "** Seulgi shouted in happiness **" yes! "** she kept on shouting, ignoring the fact that she's gathering student's attention.

 

Joy and Yeri looked weirdly at the girl who kept on shouting as they follow Irene who just had her eyes straight to where she is walking at **" are you dead serious about it? "** Joy patted Irene's shoulder and asked her.

 

 **" you rejected the varsity captain, the invitation dinner of the cheerleading captain but now you're going to date that nobody? You're not even aware that she even exist? She's like a mushroom that suddenly popped in! "** Yeri asked in disbelief, she cannot absorb what Irene just did.

 

 **" I know what that varsity captain wants, he wants to brag and bring me to his bed. That cheerleading captain is no fun at all, we're just going to fight every day while that 'nobody' she seems to be interesting "** Irene shrugged and the two just sighed from their friend's answer.

 

* * *

 

 **" in four months "** Seulgi murmurs as she reads the paper that was sent to her from the hospital.

 

Seulgi lives in her parent's house but she barely has someone to be with her since her parents are always not around. Her biological father is already dead and her mother got remarried to her first lovewhich Seulgi is very happy about. Having her mother smile again makes Seulgi happy as well, even it's because of someone else and not because of her biological father.

 

 **" won't you go to the hospital? "** Wendy asked and frowned when Seulgi placed the paper down on the table and smiled at her. Wendy is Seulgi's cousin who occasionally visits her to eat with her or to stay for a while and keep her company. 

 

 **" what are you planning to do? "** Wendy added as she worries for her cousin **" you're not thinking about doing something stupid aren't you? "** and Seulgi laughed at Wendy's suspicion.

 

 **" I'm just happy, that's why I'm smiling. I can't let that time span let me down you know "** Seulgi shrugged.

 

 **" but you should at least visit the hospital "** Wendy sighed at her cousin's stubbornness **" and why are you so happy? "** Wendy raised her eyebrow.

 

 **" I am going to but not today, I will soon go there "** Seulgi assures her **" as for your question, I'm extremely happy because... I'm going out with the love of my life "** Seulgi said as she keeps herself from squealing **" she agreed on going out with me Seungwan! "** she exclaimed and even stomped her feet under the table.

 

 **" wait... that girl from the tourism department!? "** Wendy's eyes widened **" are you serious!? Aren't you just dreaming!? Ya, you're not making up things, right? "** Wendy was infected by Seulgi's happiness, she also had a wide smile on her face. She's well aware that her cousin has been smitten to that girl right from the very beginning of her college life.

 

 **" I swear I am not, I even pinched myself that moment! "** Seulgi defended.

 

 **" oh my gosh! Congratulations! "** Wendy lifted her hand, asking for a good high five. She doesn't know how things started or how it even happened but she's genuinely happy for Seulgi  **" but where did you got that courage to ask her out when you have been flipping out whenever she's one meter away from you? "**

 

 **" I gather every courage I have on my body to be able to say that! Well, after all... life is short? "** Seulgi smiled 

 

 **" well I suppose you're right "** Wendy patted Seulgi's shoulder and smiled back at her.


	2. 02:

Even though Seulgi has bravely confessed her love to Irene and Irene has agreed on going out with her, she just can't get her feet to freely walk closer to where the latter is. Her courage seems to run out that whenever she plans to, she can't make herself go in front of Irene again, she would always keep a safe distance from the girl and just look at her from afar.

 

Every day she would go to where Irene is, keeping at least five meters away from the girl. As much as she wants to approach Irene, she can't help but doubt if it's okay to. She's afraid that she might get Irene annoyed and have Irene hate her— that's one thing Seulgi doesn't want to happen.

 

 **" this is** **hard** **"** Seulgi murmured to herself.

 

Seulgi sighed as she looks at Irene who's busy reading something inside the library— _so near yet so far._ Seulgi kept on tiptoeing around the window to steal glances to the beautiful girl and when she felt the exhaustion from her ridiculousness, she leaned her back on the cold wall and sighed again.

 

Seulgi pushed her glasses on the bridge of her nose and stared at the box of omegi tteok that she bought earlier **" it's our 22nd day today "** she murmured as she gets frustrated about herself **" I want to ask her on a date "**

 

 **" Oh! "** Seulgi lifted her head up and looked at Yeri who's pointing at her **" Irene unnie's so-called girlfriend! "** Yeri exclaimed.

 

 **" are you here for Irene unnie? She's inside, want to go with us? "** Joy asked.

 

Seulgi can feel the ray of hope to what she wants to achieve for today due to the sudden appearance of the two.

 

 **" you've been following unnie for like weeks now but not approaching her. You kinda look like a stalker that way "** Joy pointed out and Yeri laughed as she nods her head, she agrees with her.

 

Seulgi's face flushed— _so that's how they view it_ , Seulgi thought to herself **" I just thought she might be busy, I don't want to disturb her or anything so I decided to just look at her from afar "** Seulgi explains **" but today is our 22nd day so I wanna ask her on a date, but she seems to be busy again "** Seulgi sighed.

 

Yeri and Joy burst into laughter **" 22nd day! Did you heard that!? "** Joy exclaimed as she laughs like a man **" I didn't know people still celebrate those things! Dang, that's so cheesy! "** they even high five each other.

 

Seulgi looked at them like a lost kid, waiting patiently for their laughter to run out **" sorry, sorry. We just found it hilarious "** Joy apologized as she composes herself **" but by the way, we just finished our exams** — **what busy are you talking about? "** Yeri frowned.

 

 **" whenever I see her, she'll be reading some sort of books so I suppose she is "** Seulgi responded as she scratches her head.

 

 **" oh well, since you made us laugh we'll be glad to help you ask unnie out on a date so come** **on** **"** Joy said and gestured for Seulgi to follow them inside the library.

 

Seulgi decided to follow the two, she's walking nervously behind them, gripping into the box of omegi tteok that she has on her hand. She can feel her heartbeat raising uncontrollably like her heart will jump out of her rib cage any minute now.

 

 **" unnie! "** Yeri approached Irene. Joy and Yeri then sat down beside Irene, revealing Seulgi who's hiding behind them **" you have someone who's looking for you "** Joy said and pointed Seulgi who's already in a panic.

 

 **" oh... what do you want? "** Irene asked and placed down the book she's been 'reading'— _so_   _she's reading a fashion magazine inside of the thick book that she always carries around,_ Seulgi realizes to herself.

 

 **" I... I... "** Seulgi can't help but stutter, she wants to run off or just evaporate or have the ground eat her **" I bought something for you! "** Seulgi said and handed Irene the box of omegi tteok.

 

 **" thank** **you** **"** Irene said and accepted it **" it's our 22nd day today, I want to ask you on a date! "** another act of braveness for Seulgi, she wanted to clap for herself and congratulate herself for what she did.

 

 **" 22nd day? "** Irene frowned and the sound of soft laughter began, Joy and Yeri are laughing once again **" it's called two-two day, it's like a pre-anniversary celebration. I'm not certain about it since you're my first girlfriend but they said that couples really do celebrate that day "** Seulgi honestly said, she read it from the internet.

 

Irene flashed a smile and rested her chin on her palm— _she's so pure and naive._ Seulgi can swear to God that Irene's smile is the most beautiful thing that she had ever see **" where do you plan on bringing me then? "** Irene asked.

 

Seulgi gulped at Irene's question. To be honest, Seulgi didn't think this far through for she didn't expect that she can actually ask Irene about the date today and she just expected for herself to act like a loser today so she didn't plan anything.

 

 **" I... I don't know, but I will bring you wherever you want to go "** Seulgi said, looking at Irene as if she's pleading for the girl to go with her **" I might not give you the best date but I promise to take care of you the whole time you're with me, please let me take you on a date "** Seulgi added.

 

 **" just go on unnie, I think I might puke any minute now because of** **cringiness** **"** Yeri said and stood up to pull Irene to stand up as well and slightly pushed her towards Seulgi **" go on now "** she shooed away the two.

 

As soon as Irene and Seulgi went out of the library the two slowly shook their heads **" I cannot believe girls like Seulgi still exists "** Joy said **" two-two day? Who does even celebrate that day? "** Joy snorted.

 

 **" here we go, someone, who's bashing the other one when you and Seulgi are in fact the same "** Yeri continuously shook her head **" remember Yook Sungjae? "** Yeri smirked when Joy's reaction went out due to the sudden mentioning of her ex-boyfriend.

 

 **" shut up "** Joy rolled her eyes.

 

* * *

 

Irene is well aware that Seulgi always looks after her from afar, she kinda waits for the girl to approach her but that never happens. 

 

Irene was amazed by how Seulgi bravely confessed to her and when Irene agreed to go out with her, that doesn't mean that she's interested with Seulgi in that kind of level. She agreed to it because it will be so cruel to receive a rejection considering the whole student body is watching.

 

 **" do you think this is good? "** Seulgi asked Irene as she put in a shirt in front of her body. They are picking up a couple shirt that Seulgi insisted to have **" can you pick for us? I'm afraid I'll pick something terrible "** Seulgi scratches the back of her head.

 

Irene can't determine how far Seulgi's knowledge in being on a relationship. So far, Irene sees Seulgi as an innocent girl who likes to try those cheesy things that she sees on the internet but at the same time, she can see the hint of a playgirl on her, from how great Seulgi can play with sweet words.

 

 **" which one do you like? "** Irene asked as she picks up random white shirt with little prints on it and white sweater with black striped lines on it.

 

 **" I like... "** Seulgi lifted her hand and pointed at neither the clothes that Irene's holding but to Irene herself **" I like you the most "** Seulgi flashes a very cute smile that her eyes turn like into a crescent moon.

 

 _That was straight up from some sort of drama,_ Irene thought to herself.

 

 **" it's the** **sweater** **then "** Irene said and placed back the unchosen one and picked up another one more sweater for Seulgi.

 

Seulgi paid for both of the sweaters even tho Irene insist to pay for hers. They are just both wandering around the mall while Seulgi keeps on talking about the most random things, she's trying hard not to kill the atmosphere between them because she's afraid they will fall into the pit of silence.

 

 **" I'm so happy right now "** Irene looked at Seulgi whose voice began to be more serious, the smile on Seulgi's face makes Irene amazed **" I don't know how you feel about this if you're enjoying or getting bored right now. I have a lot of things that I want to talk about with you but I'm happy just being together "**

 

Irene doesn't feel bored being with Seulgi, she can't say that she's having fun either, it's more like she's getting comfortable about hanging out with her **" what are you saying? You've been talking nonstop for like hours now. Is there more you want to talk about? "** Irene asked.

 

 **" a lot** **more** **"** Seulgi said and even stretched her arms **" so far I'm talking about how frogs are green, on why aliens don't visit earth, why cheese is called cheese but what I really want to talk about is you, I want to know more of you. I know I've said that I won't get demanding or clingy but Irene... can I know more about you? "** Seulgi asked.

 

 **" first off, I think you shouldn't be calling me by my first name. I believe I'm older than you "** Seulgi's eyes widened as she realizes that she's been calling Irene by her first name **" you're just a third year, right? I'm in my last year at the university and I even stopped for a year back when I was a high school so I believe I'm 2 years older than you? "**

 

 **" I'm sorry! "** Seulgi immediately said **" I won't call you just Irene from now on, I'll call you unnie "** Irene can't tell if she likes Seulgi calling her just Irene or not but she can tell that she's adoring the girl in front of her.

 

After having a typical date like every other couple, they decided to go call it a day  **" you don't have to take me all the way home "** Irene said **" you might have a hard time catching the bus on your way to your house "**

 

 **" it's okay, I can always catch a cab or walk** — **I love** **walking** **"** Seulgi said as she insists on dropping Irene to her house **" it's dangerous to let you go home in this time, you're too beautiful to be going home alone "**

 

 **" I've been going home alone for years now— "** Irene said **" well then starting from today you won't be alone, I'm going to be here now "** Seulgi immediately said and flashed her cute smiling face at Irene. 

 

The bus has arrived and considering the time, a lot of people have gotten on the bus, it's just lucky that they got a seat **" uhh.. halmeoni "** Seulgi approached an old woman who's standing near her, holding onto the bars so she won't fall.

 

Irene frowned when Seulgi suddenly stood up, her eyes followed her **" please take a seat halmeoni "** Seulgi said and helped the grandmother sit down beside Irene that's supposed to be hers.

 

 **" thank you "** the grandmother smiled and so Seulgi. Irene can't believe that Seulgi just gave up her seat for someone when the girl keeps on whining about her aching feet earlier in the mall.

 

 **" you can sit on my** **lap** **"** Irene said as she looks at Seulgi who's now standing beside her **" I don't mind it "** Irene added.

 

 **" I purposely stood up because some guys have been looking at you, this way I can cover you from those** **guys** **"** Seulgi said **" instead of me sitting on your lap, can you just hold my bag for me? "** Irene slowly nodded her head and took Seulgi's bag.

 

Unconsciously, a smile went out of Irene's lips, she looked away from Seulgi to hide those smiles. _She's undeniably sweet_ , Irene thought to herself.

 

 **" is this your home? "** Seulgi asked when they stopped **" hmmm... I rent an apartment since my parents are living far from the university "** Irene nodded her head.

 

 **" ahh... you live alone "** Seulgi nodded her head as well **" we're the same then, I live alone as well "**

 

The night has been getting deeper and deeper like Seulgi and Irene's knowledge about each other **" oh, then do you want to sleep over? If no one's waiting for you to go home you might as well stay the night since it's dangerous to go home at this time "** Irene offered.

 

If only the sun is up, Irene would probably see how Seulgi's face gotten red **" ah no, no! It's fine, I can go home! I mean... it's probably... uhh.. well... if it's okay with you? "** Irene laughed when she saw Seulgi's reaction and how the girl scratched the back of her head— Irene can now tell, when Seulgi feels embarrassed, shy and awkward she tends to scratch the back of her head. 

 

The two went in and Seulgi was welcomed by Irene's scent as soon as she walked in **" sorry the space is so small "** Irene said. 

 

The place is indeed small, a little couch and a television, the kitchen is small that it's kinda connected to the living room, there's no dining table but a two stool and counter, one bathroom and a second floor for the bedroom.

 

 **" the bed is upstairs "** Irene pointed out the second floor. It's not the typical bedroom that has a door, it doesn't have any— the second floor is the bedroom itself.

 

 **" it feels so cozy in** **here** **"** Seulgi said as she roams her eyes around, it's so different from her parent's house where she's living at **" I like it in here, I like this place more than my own house "**

 

 **" by the way, can I have a glass of water? I need to drink some of my vitamins "** Seulgi asked. 

 

They just had their first date and now they are laying down on the same bed beside each other. It's very quiet now that the lights are off, Seulgi is very afraid that Irene might hear her heart beating.

 

 **" are you sleeping? "** Irene asked which startled Seulgi **" ah no! "** Seulgi exclaimed. There's a pillow between them that Seulgi placed because she thought that she might go crazy once their skin touches.

 

Irene faced to her side, Seulgi glances over her and immediately closes her eyes when their eyes met. Seulgi can hear Irene's giggle and so she opens her eyes once again **" you should sleep now "** Irene said and closes her eyes with a smile on her lips.

 

The time is running, the sun is already rising but Seulgi remains awake as she stares at Irene's sleeping face. Seulgi felt like she's dreaming, having Irene beside her feels like a big dream— she's afraid that if she closes her eyes even for a minute everything might disappear.

 

 **" thank you "** Seulgi murmurs **" happy two-two day "** she smiled at herself and gently caressed Irene's soft and silky hair. 

 

Seulgi has a lot of 'first' that she achieved with Irene. First date, first time sleeping with someone aside from her mother, the first time her heart fluttered because of being this close to someone **" I would love if we can celebrate 100 days but I think it would be impossible "** Seulgi continued.

 

**" but I will get the most out of my remaining time with you, even the last one second because if it will be with you, it feels like a lifetime "**


	3. 03:

The day is a pretty normal day for everyone with their regular classes, assignments that they have to do and research papers that are almost due. Everything is the same except for Seulgi who's sitting beside Irene in the library as she accompanies her.

 

Seulgi always keeps a distance from Irene, she kept on thinking that Irene might hear her heartbeat so she always keeps a little distance between them and for the sake of her heart **" what's the problem? "** Seulgi asked when Irene scowled as she looks at her.

 

 **" can you stop that? "** Irene said and looked at Seulgi's hand. Seulgi realized that she's been cracking her knuckles **" ah sorry, did the sound of it distracts you? It sort of became my habit, sorry "** Seulgi immediately apologizes.

 

 **" it's not about the sound, it just keeps me thinking that you might break your finger "** Irene frowns a lot more **" stop doing that "** she repeated. 

 

Seulgi's favorite expression of Irene might be her smiling face but this expression of Irene, with her eyebrows, almost meeting each other and her forehead creasing— Seulgi finds that adorable. 

 

 **" I can't promise that I won't do it again but I will try to stop** **myself** **"** Seulgi said but Irene's not buying that and so the older girl grabbed Seulgi's right hand, intertwining their fingers.

 

Seulgi's face immediately turned into a ripe tomato color and her heart beat increase a lot more with the sudden skinship.

 

 **" I'll hold your hand so I can be sure you won't do it again "** Irene smiled **" but it will just make me want to do it again because that way you'll have to hold my hand "** Seulgi shyly responded and with that, its the older girl's face turn to turn bright red— _this naive girl with a flowery mouth that can swoon everyone around._

 

 **"** **pabo** **"** Irene said and immediately let go of Seulgi's hand, it lowkey made Seulgi regret what she just said.

 

The quiet atmosphere between the two broke when Seulgi's phone rang, Irene stopped from what she's doing and rested her chin on her palm as she looks at Seulgi **" sorry it's my alarm "** Seulgi said and immediately turned her phone off.

 

Seulgi took out a medicine pill case and her tumbler **" why do you always take those? "** Irene curiously asked **" it's my vitamins, I like being healthy "** Seulgi smiled.

 

The day has ended pretty fast, Seulgi wished for the time to slow down but the contrary of it happened, the time is running out fast whenever she's with Irene. 

 

Seulgi sighed to herself and dropped her bag on the ground as she flaps herself into the couch. She stared at the ceiling and began to realize how lifeless her home is **" I want to sleep over to Irene's place "** she murmurs.

 

Seulgi's house is surely much bigger than Irene's apartment but aside from that difference, the ambiance of the two places is very different as well. Irene's apartment seems to be lively like there's someone really living in there while Seulgi's house feels empty and lonely like there's no one's staying in that place.

 

Her eyes caught a glimpse of a dice that's in the center table, Seulgi got up and took it into her hands. It's the dice that she's been using to decide for her life— when the dice turn to the 6 spots **" oh... it didn't again "** Seulgi murmured when only 3 spots appeared.

 

Seulgi stood up and left the dice on the center table after she threw it and went to her room. The dice is like a decision for Seulgi, she'll throw it every once in a while and if the 6 spots happen to appear— she'll kill herself. 

 

Seulgi seemed to be someone who will always have a smile on her face, a girl with a passive attitude and a shy one but what lies beneath that facade is a lonely and suffering Seulgi that want to meet death as soon as possible.

 

Seulgi found herself hopping out of the cab in front of Irene's apartment **" what am I going to do now? "** she whispered to herself as she stares at Irene's place. She squats on the ground when she felt the exhaustion from standing up. 

 

 **" I'll leave 10 minutes from** **now** **"** she said to herself and took out her phone and hit the timer. She just wants to waste her time so once she goes home the dark thoughts that lie beneath her mind won't bother her anymore.

 

 **" 10... 9... 8... "** Seulgi's counting along the timer when the door suddenly opened with Irene on her hair bun and a trash bag on her right hand **" what are you doing here? "** Irene frowned and Seulgi's face was filled with shock and nervousness— _what if she thinks that I'm obsessing and stalking her?_ Seulgi thought to herself.

 

Seulgi immediately stood up **" uhh... I'm... I'm just wandering around the area and I ended up here? "** _what a lame excuse_ , Seulgi curse herself.

 

 **" I mean, I wanted to grab some coffee but then I got lost and end up here? "** _another lame excuse Kang Seulgi!_ **" oh, there's no cafe nearby "** Irene shrugged and placed the trash bag at the side where the garbage collectors can get them in the morning.

 

 **" well, then I'll go inside now, be careful as you search for that 'cafe' "** Irene smiled and about to walk inside her apartment when Seulgi called her name **" the** **truth** **is... I came here because... I** **simply** **thought that I want to see you, to talk a little more with you and by what I mean is I wanted to know you more "**

 

Seulgi slightly bowed her head, mentally hitting her head from what came out from her mouth. She doesn't want to be that obsessive type but maybe she is **" then let's come inside "** she lifted her head up and saw a bright smile that makes her heart skip a beat every time— Irene's smile.

 

For the second time, Seulgi's laying down beside Irene with a pillow between them as a division. Seulgi really feels at home whenever she's here, even this is just the second time that she's going to sleep in there— she felt at ease and home.

 

 **" why didn't you ring the bell? It's cold outside "** Irene asked **" I don't want to disturb you and I don't want you to think of me as an obsessive girl? After all, I told you when I asked you out that I won't be clingy "** Seulgi explained.

 

 **" I** **see** **"** Irene said **" you always say that you want to know more about me but how can you know me if you always build a wall between us? "** Irene faced Seulgi who's staring at the ceiling **" you cannot reach me when you always have that wall of China like around you and I wouldn't be able to reach you that way "**

 

 **" how many days have we've been seeing each other? "** Irene suddenly asked **" 55? Almost two months now "** Seulgi responded, she has been crossing out the days that's been passing by since she only asked for 91 days and she wants to keep on track of those days. 

 

Irene removed the pillow between them **" 2 months... "** Seulgi can feel Irene's warmth even they are inches away from each other **" it's unfair if I'm the only one going to let my walls down, don't you think Kang Seulgi? "** Irene's hand are now on Seulgi's, holding it tight and feeling each other's warmth.

 

 **" you came knocking** **on** **me but when I opened my door you remained outside and just looking at me "** Irene continues **" I wanted you to come in, but you refuse to. When are you planning on doing so? Or will you ever, Kang Seulgi? "** Seulgi faced Irene as well, they are now looking at each other and getting drowned in each other's eyes.

 

Seulgi realizes something as she looks into Irene's eyes; she's purposely building a wall between them because she's afraid that she might want to have a will to live once she let her walls down, she's afraid that Irene will be a reason for her to desire a life when she's in fact already given up with herself.

 

 **" can I own your heart? "** another question went out of Irene's mouth **" but my heart... it already has its owner "** Seulgi softly said which made Irene's eyebrows meet each other, about to yell at Seulgi— **" my mother "** Seulgi added.

 

 **" I cannot compete with your mom but as long as it's only her, I'm** **okay** **"** Irene said, letting her annoyance disappear from what Seulgi suddenly said earlier.

 

 **" can I... "** Seulgi's eyes wandered from Irene's pointed nose, rosy cheeks and down to the older girl's inviting red lips **" can I kiss you? "** Seulgi bit her lip as she bravely asks permission to do it. 

 

Irene didn't utter any words and instead moved forward to capture Seulgi's lips herself. Those magical description of kisses from the fairytale book are really true; the butterflies on their tummies, soft lips, fireworks inside their hearts and warmth of each other are enough to make their hearts beat fast.

 

They parted from each other **" I will take that as a yes, you're now inside my heart Kang Seulgi and I'm not letting you out anymore "** Irene smiled and moved a lot more closer to Seulgi, wrapping her arms around the girl's tiny waist and making herself comfortable inside Seulgi's embrace.

 

Seulgi doesn't know where this is going to, but she lets herself break out from every thought that's inside her mind for a second and decided to just think of Irene's existence in her life, even just for tonight.


	4. 04:

**" excuse me "** Irene looked at the unfamiliar girl who suddenly approached her. The girl has a full bangs with hazel chestnut colored hair, very small face, fair skin, and a pair of beautiful eyes— Irene can't determine if the girl's wearing a contact lens or not.

 

Irene raised her eyebrow **" yes? "** she responds.

 

 **" I'm Wendy, I'm Seulgi's cousin "** Wendy introduces herself and slightly smiled at Irene. Irene then realized why the girl has amazing features— _being pretty must be in their family's blood_ , Irene thought to herself **" oh, Seulgi's not here with me. I believe she's in one of her classes "** Irene smiled back at Wendy.

 

 **" Oh, no. I'm not here for her, I'm here to talk to you "** Wendy said which made Irene frown.

 

Irene doesn't know why she has the need to talk to her if this is one of those drama scenes where one of the relatives are against their relationship and she's going a water splash on her face or money in an envelope. 

 

 **" what about? "** Irene frowns as she curiously asked **" let's talk somewhere more... private? "** Wendy said and so she asked Irene to go to a cafe nearby to have a proper talk which Irene agrees on. It's fortunate that she has nothing on her plate today or else she'll probably reject Wendy.

 

 **" you really look pretty in person, now I know why Seulgi's really into you since the time she saw you in her freshman orientation "** Wendy spilled **" and she's like more into you now and I guess it's because she's starting to get to know more of you "**

 

 **" thank you but I just want to know what are we going to talk about? I bet it's not because of those "** Irene asked directly, the feeling of waiting for what Wendy wants to talk about makes her feel anxious.

 

Wendy faked a cough and wore a much serious expression **" about Seulgi... "** she paused like she doesn't want to open it up **" I don't want to shock you about this but... her mental condition is not okay, I thought it's going to be better when you came into her life but it seems like I was wrong "** Wendy handed Irene a diary and papers of google history.

 

**" she's suicidal, Irene, and when you came into her life it seems like she's in hurry to cut her life down. It seemed like she's stuck between wanting to live because of you and dying as soon as possible before her mind changes completely "**

 

Irene looked at what Wendy gave her; searches of suicides, getting rid of depression and some sort of other disturbing things **" Seulgi's father passed away five years ago and there her mental condition problems began, from seeing her mother cry and hurt herself "** Wendy started.

 

 **" but 3 years after that, her mother met her stepfather. We thought** — **I thought that she'll get better with her seeing mother start to smile again and with a new family she'll have, but it just has gotten worse "**

 

**" instead of getting her mental condition better she just began to get better on hiding her feelings which makes it a lot worse. I know that she's not getting any happiness in her heart, that she's been dying inside "**

 

**" having a new father isn't the answer, it just made her feel insecure— it just made her felt like she doesn't belong to the family anymore, that she's just a freeloader, that her mother won't need her now "**

 

 **" her depression starts there, physically hurting herself and drowning herself to her dark thoughts "** Wendy paused as she prevents herself from crying **" I always look after her, I tried hard to become her friend, to reach out to her but whenever I do she just always pushes me away "**

 

**" even she pushes me away or says that she's fine, her eyes are screaming for help "**

 

 **" now her mother is in the hospital, barely living due to her heart failure and she needs a heart transplant— if she won't get it in 4 months she'll die "** Irene barely even opened her mouth to talk, she's just listening to Wendy and absorbing everything  **" I believe that gave Seulgi a ticket to her death, a reason to die without being in vain "**

 

 **" I realized why she bravely approached you "** Wendy picked up the diary that she gave Irene and opened it on a certain page **" she wanted to be with you before she finally kills herself "** Irene doesn't know what she should feel, her tears are flowing out of her eyes as she reads what's inside of that diary.

 

> Irene Bae, the girl who stole my heart. I asked her out today and I don't know what this is but she said yes, she agreed on going out with me. Maybe because I told her that it will only for three months? That I will behave myself and not act clingy over her? I don't know why and I don't understand it but I'm happy. I'm happy to be able to be with her for a short span of time before I die, I will get to know her and have a memory of her mark on my mind before I end my life.
> 
>  

Irene flipped through the pages, letting her tears damp the pages of Seulgi's diary— hoping that her tears would erase those words, those suicide thoughts of Seulgi, the loneliness and everything that Seulgi's running away from.

 

> I'm having the will to live, should I be happy? Irene is giving me a reason to continue living but I'm a mess, can I even fix myself in this certain state? Irene's messing my heart and blinding me with light and hope— if I wouldn't kill myself now, I doubt I will be able to do it anymore. I should give my mother my heart as soon as possible while my heart is still not Irene's completely... I need to...

 

Irene stood up from her chair **" I don't understand any of this or what the hell are you talking about "** she angrily said **" I will talk to Seulgi myself "** she declared and so Wendy grabbed her wrist.

 

 **" please save my cousin, please "** Wendy pleaded and Irene just shook her hand off and left the cafe.

 

* * *

 

Life is truly cruel, a lot of problems should be encountered throughout your stay in the world. Pain, grief, loneliness and a little bit of happiness— that's what life contains. It's a matter of luck to have a good and happy life, no perfect life is given to anyone.

 

Seulgi grips into the car's wheel, having her mind blank and stepping on the accelerator. She has her license but she's not an experienced driver for she always loves to ride buses and trains or just catch a cab to go to different places.

 

Life has surely been cruel for Seulgi, having her father die, seeing her mother drown in depression and pain and in result she doesn't get any attention with her growing depression as well, watching her mother meet another one and being happy again, leaving her in loneliness all by herself.

 

Seulgi wants to make her mother happy but every time she sees her mother smile at her stepfather she can't help but feel lost and unfit for her mother's new world. How can she cope with her mother's new world when she always feels like she's going to get left behind.

 

If she'll be gone then her mother would be happy without thinking about her, she'll be free to create a new set of a family of hers without thinking of her. She'll be free from having a Kang Seulgi. 

 

Seulgi wants her mother to be happy that much that she'll willing to give her life for her— it's not all about that but it's one of the reasons on why Seulgi wants to end her life. It's like a ticket to death— having her mother fall from severe sickness and one way that Seulgi can help is to kill herself and give her heart to her mother.

 

Seulgi's eyes started to blur when her tears began to pile up on the corner of her eyes, she steps into the accelerator, even more, when her phone rang. Seulgi stepped on the break and parked her car on the side of the road.

 

 **" Hello? "** Seulgi softly answered her phone **" where are you Kang Seulgi!? "** that familiar voice made Seulgi's heart race. It's Bae Irene on the other line, the girl who made her felt that genuine happiness **" just... just somewhere "** Seulgi responded.

 

 **" where? Let me go to you "** Irene said but Seulgi shooks her head even Irene cannot see her **" no, I am going somewhere "** Seulgi said.

 

 **" where are you Kang Seulgi!? "** Irene's voice is full of worriedness and anger, Seulgi bit her lip and didn't respond but she hasn't hanged up the phone.

 

Seulgi saw the dice that she brought with her, she placed down the phone and put Irene on speaker **" hey, let's play a game "** Seulgi said and grabbed the dice **" say any number that won't be higher than six "** Seulgi added.

 

 **" what are you doing? Just tell me your location! "** Irene said in annoyance _**" just tell me any number "** _Seulgi repeated herself, she heard Irene sighed **" if I tell you that number, will you tell me exactly where you are? "** Irene calmly asked and Seulgi just agreed on it.

 

 **" three "** Irene said and immediately, Seulgi rolled the dice and when the dice stopped she picked it up and her phone as well **" what's your location now? "** Irene asked again.

 

 **" I'm near *** hospital can you go here? "** Seulgi asked **" yes, stay in there and don't do anything foolish, I'll be there shortly. Wait for me "** Irene said and hanged up.

 

Seulgi threw her phone into the shotgun seat and rested her back, closed her eyes momentarily and opened it to look at the result of the dice earlier **" six... "** she murmurs to herself.

 

Once again Seulgi turned the car's engine, thinking of everything that happened to her for the past 2 months with Irene even they didn't get to complete the three months that Seulgi asked for— her smile, those sweet hugs, her warmth, kiss— everything is very clear in Seulgi's memory.

 

 **" thank you for the memories "** Seulgi murmurs as she once again stepped on the accelerator **" I'll have a happy memory that I can bring with me "** and with those words, Seulgi closes her eyes and just let her car crash into the truck that's rushing towards her direction.

 

She can hear the loud honking of the truck until everything went silent and she cannot feel anything anymore.

 


End file.
